Religious jokes

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A Jewish lady named Mrs. Rosenberg who many years ago was
stranded late one night at a fashionable resort - one that did
not admit Jews.
The desk clerk looked down at his book and said, "Sorry, no
room. The hotel is full." The Jewish lady said, "But your
sign says that you have vacancies." The desk clerk
stammered and then said curtly, "You know that we do not
admit Jews. Now if you will try the other side of town..."
Mrs. Rosenberg stiffened noticeable and said, "I'll have you
know I converted to your religion."
The desk clerk said, "Oh, yeah, let me give you a little test.
How was Jesus born?"
Mrs. Rosenberg replied, "He was born to a virgin named Mary
in a little town called Bethlehem."
"Very good," replied the hotel clerk. "Tell me more."
Mrs. Rosenberg replied, "He was born in a manger."
"That's right," said the hotel clerk. "And why was he born in a
manger?"
Mrs. Rosenberg said loudly, "Because a jerk like you in the
hotel wouldn't give a Jewish lady a room for the night!"

Rating: 2.0 |

There's this old priest who got sick of all the people in his parish
who kept confessing to adultery. One Sunday, in the pulpit, he said,
"If I hear one more person confess to adultery, I'll quit!"

Well, everyone liked him, so they came up with a code word. Someone
who had committed adultery would say they had "fallen."

This seemed to satisfy the old priest and things went well, until the
priest died at a ripe old age. About a week after the new priest
arrived, he visited the mayor of the town and seemed very concerned.

The priest said, "You have to do something about the sidewalks in
town. When people come into the confessional, they keep talking about
having fallen."

The mayor started to laugh, realizing that no one had told the new
priest about the code word.

Before the mayor could explain, the priest shook an accusing finger at
the mayor and said, "I don't know what you're laughing about, your
wife fell three times this week."

Rating: 2.6 |

A mother was teaching her three year old daughter The Lord's
Prayer. For several evenings at bedtime, she repeated it after
her mother. One night she said she was ready to solo. The
mother listened with pride, as she carefully enunciated each
word right up to the end..."And lead us not into temptation",
she prayed, "but deliver us some e-mail, Amen."

Rating: 3.0 |

When the airline Captain announced they were flying over Salt Lake
City, Utah, a woman
told the man sitting beside her, "I understand this is the home of the
Mormon religion
where husbands believe it's OK to have more than one wife." That's
true," he replied, "as
a matter of fact I happen to be a Mormon myself and have nine wives."
"How
disgusting,"she said,"you should be ashamed of yourself, such
practices should be against
the law and you ought to be hung." With a slight grin, he just said,
"Yes, mam I am."

Rating: 2.4 |

An old drunk stumbles into a confessional. After not hearing anything
for a while the
Priest knocked on the wall. The drunk said forget it buddy there's no
paper in here either.

Rating: 3.0 |

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